Home For Christmas
by DaniJay
Summary: Woody and Jordan spend sometime reflecting on the years events and what might have been. Is it too late to change their current situation? Eventual WJ pairing.
1. Blue Christmas

Hi!

We all spend time around the holidays reflecting on what has transpired in the past year. This is what Woody and Jordan would be thinking if I could write an episode for Crossing Jordan. I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Crossing Jordan. If I did, Woody and Jordan would be together by now.

I do not own the rights to _I'll Be home For Christmas,_ _Blue Christmas _or any other Elvis song.

**Blue Christmas**

Okay, I admit it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but in the effort to get into the Christmas spirit, I popped in my Elvis Christmas cd. Elvis has always gotten me in the mood for Christmas. I remember my mom playing the same songs when I was a child. If Elvis wasn't singing, the Christmas tree didn't go up.

After she died, Dad didn't bother with putting up a tree. My aunt told him that it wasn't fair to Cal and me to just quit having Christmas. So every year she would come over, put on the same Elvis songs and set up our Christmas tree. With the familiar sounds of mom's favorite songs in the air, it was almost as if she was there with us.

Anyway, Elvis didn't do the trick this year. I mean, _I'll Be Home for Christmas_ really stings when you realize you no longer have a family to go home to. Yes, my aunt and uncle are still alive, but to be honest I haven't gone back for Christmas since I moved to Boston. I spent my first Christmas here and everyone since with my new family - Jordan, Max, and the gang at the morgue. But this year that won't be happening.

I guess happiness is too much to expect when you've had a banner year like I have. First Cal almost gets Bug and Jordan killed in the Albanian Mob case. That was when I realized I was all alone in the world. Of course, Jordan alluded to the fact that I still had her; boy was that short lived.

We were really getting along well, taking it slow. I didn't want to spook Jordan into running. I was actually tired of chasing her cross-country. However, with her birthday looming, I lost all sanity and jumped the gun when I gave her the ring. I know I was trying to push things before she was ready; I was just so tired of waiting. I wanted to get serious. Now the ring sits in the drawer of my nightstand next to a stack of pictures in which Jordan was the primary focus. They were banished there when she refused the ring. The only photo I left out was one of the whole gang; I justified that by saying it had all of my friends in the picture. It didn't hurt that it was an 8x10 and Jordan was in the center with my arm wrapped around her waist.

Her refusal of the ring did hurt but somewhere I still knew there was a chance. She hadn't started dating anyone else. So to get a rise out of her and see where we really stood, I told her I had a date. Before I could even see how she would react, we were thrust into the cop killer case that ended in me getting shot.

For the life of me, I don't know when the jackass entered my mind and told her to get out. I needed her so badly. I sat there after she left and cursed myself profusely. I knew what it took for her to tell me she loved me, and I knew Jordan didn't do pity. I was just so mad. They say when you are angry that you tend to lash out at the one you love the most, the one who is closest to you.

You know, I probably could have patched things up if that same jackass would not have decided it was best to hurt her again when I went after Riggs. I believe that was the last straw. I was so wrong for treating her that way! I just wish I could go to her and take back all of the horrible things I said and did; unfortunately, we must reap what we sow.

I guess I should be happy. We can actually work a case now without being at each other's throats the whole time. And she did finally kick J. D. to the curb. It's just that I had so many plans for this Christmas. I actually thought we would spend this Christmas Eve in each other's arms. I was hoping to fix her breakfast in bed and give her an engagement ring as a Christmas present.

But I guess it wasn't meant to be. Jordan, I will surely have a _Blue Christmas_ without you.


	2. All I Want for Christmas is You

Thanks for all of the reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan or the rights to the song _All I want for Christmas is You._

**All I Want For Christmas is You**

Christmas is only days away. I am trying to put up a good front. I want everyone to think I'm okay. I mean I don't know why I am so worried about what my friends think? They know how bad this year has been. It started out with so much promise!

Woody and I were getting along so well. I got to see Dad. Maybe put a few demons to rest where that is concerned. I helped to free a woman who was on death row while reaching what was an important decision for my future.

It was during that trip that I began to realize that the feelings I had for Woody were real. I had been battling with those emotions because they felt so foreign. I had never loved someone the way I loved Woody. Stupid me, I was still too afraid to tell Woody. But he knew; I know he knew. Why else would he have tried to give me the ring?

The blessed little ring! Why did he have to go and buy it? Why was I so stupid to refuse it? I wanted it; I wanted to accept it so bad! It just frightened me. I knew it meant commitment. I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. Who was I trying to fool? It was a dream come true for someone to want me that way. To want to be with _me_ forever. Why did I have to go and screw it up? I have lost so much over that decision.

If I had accepted the ring when he offered it, we would have been a couple when he was shot. Even if I still hadn't told him how much I loved him, the last minute revelation would have been received better before he went into surgery. He wouldn't have kicked me out. He would have let me help him. Be there with him and for him. Instead, he was suffering at the hospital all alone, while I was suffering just outside his door, wanting to help him.

Now here I am looking at celebrating my first Christmas all alone. Dad was gone last year, but I had Woody.

I could ask Nige to come over, but that wouldn't fair to him. I would be moping around and he would try to cheer me up. I guess the truth is I don't want to be cheered up. I am wallowing in some of that pity Woody accused me of possessing. A little self-pity.

I sound like the girl who sings lead in that depressing Christmas song by Vince Vance and the Valiants, _All I Want for Christmas is You._

_Santa can't bring me what I need, cause all I want for Christmas is_… Woody.


	3. Christmas Plans

As you can tell, I love Christmas songs. Hope the references aren't to sappy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan or the rights to the songs mentioned in the remainder of this story.

**Christmas Plans**

It was December 24th, Christmas Eve. It was supposed to be the _most wonderful time of year_. A time where friends and family put aside their differences and mimic peace on earth. The joy and warmth of the holiday was lost on Woody because all he had to keep him company were memories of Christmas past.

He was on duty Christmas Eve and was hoping to keep himself busy so the day would fly by. The goal was to ignore Christmas all together. Pretend that it didn't exist.

That plan wasn't working so well. It had been an unusually slow day. Great for the people of Boston, but it left Woody with nothing but paperwork to occupy his mind.

When he was finally sent out on a call to an up scale Boston hotel, it seemed as though his luck was just getting worse. Jordan was the answering ME.

"So, what do we have?" Jordan inquired.

"Veronica Smith, twenty-nine year old female, no apparent cause of death, just the small traces of blood on her face" Woody answered.

"That's where I come in." replied Jordan. "No visible wounds, no signs of struggle, nothing. What do we know about her?"

"She's a local. The hotel manager said she checked in alone last night, paid cash for two nights. This morning the maid came in to change the linens and found her. She thought she was asleep at first; poor woman is a basket case."

There was a ruckus at the door. It was the manager trying to get in. "He's got his underwear in a wad." Woody remarked. "Keeps on saying she had to die of natural causes because this kind of thing doesn't happen in _his _hotel. Why don't I see what he needs, do you need anything else from me?"

"No, I'll finish up here and take her back to the morgue. I should have the preliminary results before the end of the day."

"Great, catch you later."

"You know where to find me" Jordan replied, quite pleased with the polite way they had both behaved. Maybe they could at least be friends.

Back at the morgue, Woody found Jordan in Autopsy One with Ms. Smith.

"So far I've come up empty. I found nothing out of the ordinary in trace, and I'm still waiting on the toxicology results, so I'm afraid the preliminary autopsy results are inconclusive…Sorry I don't have more for you." Jordan said as she pulled her gloves off.

"That figures. There were no signs of forced entry or foul play back at the hotel. So far, we have nothing to go on. And I haven't been able to contact her next of kin. Just the way to start the holiday. You off tomorrow?" Woody questioned.

"Yeah, Garret insisted that I take the day off, I have worked to many hours this month already. You?"

"My boss says he is tired of seeing me, but with this case open I may have an excuse to come in. I have nothing else to do anyway."

"I know what you mean. My plans consist of watching the Christmas movie marathon and probably ordering pizza."

"What about the morgue Christmas party?" Woody questioned.

"We had it early, Bug had wanted to go home this year and Garret went out of town to see Abby."

By this time, they were about three feet apart, it seemed as though something were drawing the two together. As usual, they were fighting the attraction like magnets repelling each other. Unable to bear the tension any longer, Jordan stepped up to him and kissed his cheek ever so softly. "Merry Christmas Woody."

With that, she was out of the room, leaving Woody standing there dumbstruck. "Merry Christmas Jordan."


	4. Why

This is a very short post. But with the holidays in full swing I am strapped for time and I do not want to rush the ending. I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas!

Thanks for all for the reviews! As for the kiss in the morgue; okay, I will admit it was definitely the wrong place but I think it worked toward my desire to show Jordan was acting on a whim and obviously not thinking clearly. Hey, I can think of much more bizarre places to receive a peck on the cheek. Anyway, thanks again!

**Why**

_Why did I do that? Why did I have to kiss him?_ Jordan questioned herself as she escaped to the Women's locker room. _I guess I can forget any chance of being friends now. He will probably be angry with me the next time I see him. Well, at least I can keep my promise to Garret and take the tomorrow off; there is no way I am going to come in on Christmas Day and set myself up for one of his tirades. Now, how much time do I have to kill before I can assume he has left?_

By the time she left the locker room, there was no sign of Woody. She gathered her things and left for home. It was now 6:30 PM, Christmas Eve was in full swing. Hopefully, she could go home, take a long hot shower and curl up on the sofa with a Christmas film and cookie dough ice cream.

Woody didn't know what to think. He was surprised by the kiss, if you could call it that. It was so brief and light it was almost imperceptible. One thing hadn't changed though; Jordan was still the fastest thing on two feet. She ran out of there as if the building was on fire. He waited around for her, but after a reasonable amount of time, he assumed she didn't want to see him.

He had left the morgue in a daze. He now had more questions to deal with, the most obvious of which was …why?


End file.
